Blog Tour – Fatherless Generation: Redeeming the Story

I had the privilege of reviewing John Sowers’ book sent to me by Zondervan. I’m under no obligation to provide a positive review.

This week, Oct. 11-15, you can order a copy for 50% OFF and Free shipping at Zondervan.com Use coupon code: 370033.

This book hits home. There are many present in my life who have grown up with dad missing at least after some point in their life or a father who is barely involved. My wife’s parents divorced when she was entering her pre-teen years. Until that time, she had fond memories of dad. They would watch the sunset together on the rooftop of the apartment complex he built, and would occasionally let her have a sip of his beer as they sat in the still of the eve. He was protective and didn’t even allow her to cut the grass to prevent her from getting hurt!

My wife felt safe with him and protected in his care. However, that all changed when her parents parted ways. A salty relationship between her mother and father turned out to affect this young woman profoundly. It reminds me of a song called “Had A Dad” by the band, Jane’s Addiction in which singer Perry Farrell says,

I had a dad
He was big and strong
I turned around
I found my daddy gone
He was the one
Made me what I am today
It’s up to me now
My daddy has gone away…

John Sowers shares many stories like this that resonate in my life. I come from a strong family background, but others around me have not. Through no actions on the part of the children, many kids one day find dad gone. Regardless of the situation, the effect is highly visible. And the most terrible component is that no one can replace dad, but dad.

There is a hole that is left by dad being gone. What do you do, but try to fill it with something? And so many turn to drugs, sex, cutting, or anything else that can take the pressure off the emotional pain and put it on something else: a visible else. Pain is placed on something tangible instead of an empty hole.

Sowers gives many startling statistics that demonstrate the visible link between the fatherless and their behavior. I asked my wife if she agreed with the things shared by Sowers, and she did. She admitted that some issues she got into were a result of her own curiosity and teenage angst, but many were a result of what happened between her parents. There is no question that dad’s leave creates turmoil. Farrell again says it well,

If you see my dad
Tell him my brothers
All gone mad
They’re beating on each other
I walked around
Even tried to call
Got that funny feeling
He’s not there at all…

If not for sin, we would not have seen the magnitude of God’s love and grace as that we have seen in Christ Jesus. If not for seeing the damage sin causes, we would not have seen the beauty of a God who draws us to himself through the aftermath of sins clutches on mankind. Life is redeemable. It is not the end for the fatherless. It’s incredible how God can redeem bad for our good. When we rise in Christ, we rise strong. My wife is a strong, no nonsense woman who mentors teens and young, single mothers. She is a great counselor who knows because she has been there, and has been redeemed. John Sowers heads this direction.  

Sowers makes the connection that all too often the fatherless have a poor view of God. Because dad became a poor role model, the idea of a heavenly father leaves a bad taste from bad memories of what a dad is. Christ is a father to the fatherless (Psa 68:5-6). We who follow him and who minister to his people need to look for opportunities to change the tide in someones life. 

Sowers uses 1Cor 4:15 to show that the believers in Corinth had many teachers, but not many fathers. Sowers’ ministry equips people to be good mentors. “One-on-one mentoring is the most effective way to reach a fatherless child” says Sowers. Simply being there for them speaks volumes. Intimate relationships build character and health experts agree they are the “most powerful behavior modifier in the world.” As a father of a seven year old, I see the value in being active and present in my son’s life every day. There is such power and motivation when someone sees a positive example, knows and feels they are loved, valued, and appreciated.

The Mentoring Project – Elephant Musth Cycle from The Mentoring Project on Vimeo.

Sowers spends time demonstrating what good and effective mentoring looks like. He identifies several major benchmarks: loving, modeling, and coaching. His model follows other very successful ministries such as Dave Ferguson and Jon Ferguson. He calls this a generation of Esaus because birthrights have been given away and father is not around to bestow his blessing. Sowers unpacks this in greater detail. The blessing of a father bestows a vision, a purpose, and a life to live. We are of course more than our father’s son or daugher, but Sowers says the father’s blessing is important. For those who did not receive their own father’s blessing, when we come to Christ God betows his fatherly blessing of sonship. And what he has said about his son is, “This is my son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased” (Luk 3:22). We inherit the beloved approval of Christ.

I highly recommend this book. You will find the issue of the fatherless painted very well with both facts and testimonies from many different people. I can give witness that I live among the fatherless and what they have told me about resonates very closely with what Sowers describes. He also gives a very strong outline of how each of us can meet this need better, and especially so for those who find a serious call into this ministry. I agree with Sowers that “If our God is the Father to the fatherless, how can we, who are called to be imitators of him, be any less?”

Sowers says we can start to serve in these ways:

• Pray for the needs of the fatherless and those ministries reaching out to them
• Serve by registering, participating, and spreading the word
• Give financially because a little goes a long way: the ministry has been sustained by $10-25 gifts

I would add a very helpful suggestion: get this resource. You’ll be glad. Even if you are not called to minister in this particular field, it is an eye-opening experience to observe the background and see the real need.

Go to www.thementoringproject.org for more information or to get involved.

God bless, Saints